I met yet another person today who had to proclaim to me just how ‘crazy’ they were. Isn’t it interesting how the amount of unsolicited adjectives someone uses to describe themselves is inversely proportional to just how crazy/happy/confident/awesome they are!!
I ask myself every time I meet someone like this, who the hell are they trying so hard to convince?!
See, the way I see it, people who naturally and congruently do these things tend to not describe themselves using these words. For example, truly confident people tend not to speak about how confident they are. Instead, they just show it. It is inherent in their actions, words, voice and behaviour. There is no need to call themselves Extreme Steve or Crazy Susan or even Super Ewan because, for them, it just isn’t required. They are an embodiment of these states so they don’t need to make sure everyone notices!
One of the most obvious places to see this happen is in schools. When you think back now, you begin to realise that the loud, troublesome, obnoxious kids who smoked, fought or generally made noises weren’t confident as we maybe thought they were back then. In fact, as I have pleasure in teaching to school kids quite often, they are actually reacting to fear. They need to shout about everything because, if it goes too quiet for too long, then the truth might spill out and people might see how fragile they really are. The ‘noise’ is their shield, their mask, keeping everyone distracted from the truth.
And that is who I think people are trying to convince when they use unsolicited adjectives.
They’re trying to convince themselves!
The path to congruency starts the second you have the courage to stop trying to be who you think others want you to be, stop trying to have what you think you ‘should’ have, stop trying to be seen to be something you are not and accept both who you are and what you have. At this point, you drop your mask and let your guard down. You allow yourself to be, perhaps for the first time in a long time, vulnerable. If you can do this, then the journey ha started and, let’s be candid here, this is a HUGE step for many people. But I promise, after this, it gets easier every step of the way.
Fear of being seen causes people to wear masks. Those masks come in many forms, including words. Look out for them. Look out for your own. And, when the time is right and you are ready, let them drop.
The path starts here. So, are you a crazy, mad and pure mental enough person to take a step onto it and see what happens?
See you somewhere, later
Epic Brian 😉