I remember for a long time my wife telling me never to hang the gloves she used for doing the dishes (does everyone else just call them marigolds?) over the edge of the dish drainer. I never questioned it but she seemed quite adamant about it even though it made no sense to me. So one day, after she had been particularly ‘adamant'(!), curiosity got the better of me and I asked the question; why should I not do that? She told me that the gloves always ended up soaking wet on the inside when they were left hanging there.
Our minds love linking things together. That’s how we learn. From the earliest of ages we learn to associate specific noises, which we will later call words, with certain things, actions, feelings etc. We quickly learn that certain things make us feel good and certain things don’t, we learn what we can do and what we can’t do, we learn so many things and we will never, ever stop learning. We are made to learn. Even as you read this you are learning and associating right now (hopefully learning that the HeadStrong post always makes you feel good before you go to bed and you should tell all your pals to like the page as well!!).
However as we grow we make mistakes (your beliefs about this page are not a mistake though!). We make associations, meanings and links that are very often inaccurate or, at the least, incomplete because we are limited by our own perception. Does that make sense?
For example, imagine that you are an alien that arrives in perfect geostationary orbit above the earth in your shiny flying saucer. When you look down you see Europe and Africa. It’s beautiful with loads of land to see. You go home and tell all your alien friends how much land their is on this new planet and how populated it is and another ship leaves just to take a look. But when this ship arrives it plonks itself above the Pacific Ocean. An area of nothingness dotted with tiny islands and water as far as the eye can see. Your friends come home and think you took a wrong turn! You argue about who is right when actually both of you are. You just had a different perspectives.
It’s important to realise that many of the assumptions you make about life are like this example. You have witnessed something from one perspective and, from that limited info, you have created meaning. This isn’t too bad a thing when you have learned that cod in parsley sauce is the food of the devil but what about when it’s something bigger and/or darker? Something like ‘everyone is out to get me’, ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I’ll never be happy again’ or something like that. These are the same as everything else, they are true for you because you make them true for you. From your perspective the world is the way you think it is but not everyone sees the world from your perspective. In fact, there is no one that sees the world exactly like you see it.
One of the easiest ways to achieve huge amounts of personal growth is to always question your own perspective before critiquing, challenging or dismissing someone else’s. it is incredible how much your mind can expand when you begin seeing things from angles and perspectives you have never tried before. When you start expanding your perspectives, you break and stretch old associations and often, not always but often, you learn new things and that new thing leads to something else which leads to a new thing which…you see where this is going don’t you? I promise, the world is an amazing and much richer place when you simply open your mind to the possibility that you aren’t right about everything!
By the way, the gloves? My wife used to leave them hanging over the edge of the sink and, when I was doing the dishes, I often accidentally knocked them into the sink full of water, soaking them inside. I always hung them over the edge of the dish drainer to dry out.
Never accept what you believe to be true until you know what you believe, to be true. Take your time on that one, its a brain melter…