Does Mental Health Affect Your Career?

And why your problems can be helpers… until they’re not!

If you really listen to people who are highly successful there is often an interesting subtext top what they are saying in interviews.

“I think my anxiety is why I’ve done well.”

And they’re not joking.They don’t realise what they are saying but it is right there.

Now I get it, how can you say that Brian?How can some of the most successful athletes, business people, actors and other accomplished people be saying their anxiety has made them successful.

I get it. It sounds a backwards as hell?

But heres the thing - most of what we hear about mental health, especially anxiety, is that it holds people back. It stops you doing things. It gets in the way.

And don’t get me wrong, it absolutely can.

But for a lot of people, anxiety is the thing that pushes them forward.

Now this is important…this is not a good thing. It’s a time bomb waiting to go off.But for a bit…sometimes a long bit…it provides an energy and focus that changes everything

When anxiety actually works for you

OK, so here’s the key phrase; “I’m not good enough”.

If you have this inside your head, you’ll know exactly what I mean.

It’s a pain in the arse and it will sit in the background of everything you do and screw it all up.But, for a while, and for the right person, it will also push people into action.

There ‘not good enough person will;

• prepare more than they need to

• double check all the things other people would leave

• stay later, work harder, push further

All to make sure the inner thought doesn’t come true.

From the outside, it 100% looks like ambition. It shows up as discipline. It means the person has exceptionally high standards.

And to be fair, because of that, it often gets results.This person will be driven by anxiety to get promotions, recognition, responsibility… they’ll look awesome.But they’ll feel constantly drained.

Anxiety is a very energy hungry motivator!

And here’s why…

That voice never switches off.If you’re driven by the thought “I need to constantly prove I’m good enough” then how will you ever find anything that ever really proves it?

You’ll hit a target… and instead of feeling settled, you raise the bar.
You’ll get recognition… and instead of enjoying it, you question whether its genuine.
You’ll get the job… and instead of relaxing into it, you worry about keeping it.

There’s always something else.

Always another level.

Always another thing to prove.

And after a while, it stops feeling like motivation and starts feeling like pressure.

Constant pressure.

As I said, it’s a motivation strategy that is energy hungry and is always starving!

And it works because…

From the outside, people look at you and think “Check them out, they’re cooking.They’ve got it sorted.”

“They’re doing really well in their career”

“They’ve worked so hard to get where they are.”

And all of that is probably true.

But what they don’t see is what’s driving it.

They don’t see the overthinking, the second guessing, the constant sense that you’re one mistake away from being found out.And that’s why you’re externally successful and internally never in a place to enjoy it.

But there’s more…

This anxiety doesn’t just push people too hard. It also quietly, and consistently, holds people back.

I’ve worked with loads of successful people who were more than capable of stepping into bigger roles, taking opportunities, or moving forward in their career…but they didn’t.

Not because they weren’t ready.

But because they never got to an internal place where they believed they were.

Discounting your Ability

Discounting is one of those things that sounds technical, but I promise you’ll recognise it straight away ‘cos you probably do it. (I know I do it all the time and I know all about this stuff!!)

Discounting is when you overlook your own ability.

You focus on what you don’t know instead of what you do. You assume other people are more capable. You tell yourself you’re not quite ready yet.And yet never comes.

You’ll say things like ‘I don’t know if this is OK…’.Or start a presentation with a small caveat like ‘I’m not very good at this but…’.And internally, hidden from everyone, you will feel small and childlike when asked to step up and do what you know you are great at.

And finally, and more annoyingly, I bet if you were asked about a colleague going for the same job you’d probably be the first to say they were more than ready and they should totally go for it.

And all this doubt and self deprecation shapes every one of your decisions more than people realise.

You don’t go for the job.
You don’t put yourself forward.
You wait until you feel “ready”… which never quite happens.

And over time, that holds you stuck, in place, missing opportunities to be more amazing than you are.

A quick example

I worked with a lady who had been in the same role for years.She was great at what she did. Reliable. Respected.Trusted by everyone and given opportunities to reflect her status.

But every time a promotion came up, she found an excuse not to go for it.

“I’m not quite there yet.”

“I need a bit more experience.”

“Maybe next time.”

And to her (and some others) her reticence sounded totally reasonable.

Until she came to me and we actually looked at it properly.

On paper, she was easily ready but there was a hidden belief sitting underneath everything - “I’m not enough”.

This belief had been installed in childhood thanks to well meaning parents that had pushed her so hard academically she had never experienced achievement.

She had all the As.She got the degree.She got the prizes.She got the graduate apprenticeship.

But every time the feedback was ‘well of course you did, but what happens next.Are you ready for the next bit?’.

Now, that belief had helped her earlier in her career. It made her work so hard, she was constantly chasing the next thing, never noticing that the next thing she was getting was because of how good she was at the thing she just did.She just had to stay sharp, she had to always keep improving.

And then, as happens in many people like this client, she got to a stage where being good wasn’t enough.She hit a ceiling.And now the belief started having the opposite effect.

It was keeping her stuck.

She couldn’t move.She was highly intelligent.She was highly capable.She flew through those early stages of her career because she was brilliant.But then she found her level.A level that meant the next stage, the additional responsibility, the extra exposure to a wider and more senior audience, the pressure of delivering on significant KPIs, finally tipped her.

She was frozen in fear.

The good news…she is no longer frozen in fear.Because with the right help, it doesn’t need to stay like this.

Changing from the Inside Out

When I work with someone like his I’m not looking to remove pressure completely.

As I have shown you, some pressure is useful.But it can’t be your only driver.

There’s a massive difference between:

“I need to prove I’m good enough”

and

“I know I’m capable, and I want to do this well”

The first one brings tension, pressure, and will eventually get you to burnout.But that tiny tweak and now we are hitting confidence, growth, and a bit of breathing space.

People always think their mind is static.That once this thought is in there you can never clear it…but that’s not true.

You just need to put the work in to you.

A final thought

I promise, if your career feels harder than it should, or you’re constantly pushing, or you’re quietly holding yourself back, it’s probably not about your job.

It’s about what’s driving you within it.

And the frustrating bit for someone who works as hard as you is, you will never just think your way out of that.Not on your own.

You need to get under the bonnet, cos it’s there we start to understand it properly; where it came from, why it’s there, what it’s trying to do for you.

And once we have that, then we can change it.

If that’s something you recognise, you’re welcome to reach out to us at HeadStrong for a chat about therapy or coaching. You are not alone. You don’t have to keep proving yourself, definitely not to us!Let us help you.